Why I Re-started breastfeeding our toddler.

Big Latch On 2013

Big Latch On 2013

 

Sooooo, this is a post all about the ins and outs of breastfeeding my toddler.

I’m 26 weeks pregnant{Yay! } and never thought I’d still be nursing our 22 mo. old toddler at wake-up, naptime and to sleep at night.  I thought if I could get to 12 months it would be a miracle.  She went thru a very short lived biting stage around 12 months but really seemed to want to continue so we did.

The past few months I’ve been prepping her to stop, weaning like a slow rolling hill.  She now doesn’t ask as much and really just comfort nurses about 30 seconds a side.  I can’t express manually so she must it seems just be comfort nursing.  Which is fine.

Until very recently where any nursing has become incredibly uncomfortable.  I’ve read a bit and figured that she would want to stop by now, but no.  And last week I decided I Had to be done.  It seems like baby gets really mad each time toddler latches on.  I could be having minor contractions, plus the squish little guy gets each time our 35 pounder jumps into my lap ain’t no joke.  I told her that we had 3 more days of “nurse nurse” and she seemed to be fine with it.  I hadn’t taken away her naptime, night time comfort chill with Mommy time yet.  I was slowing substituting and changing things like book in bed instead of on the nursing chair, putting in the music bear with our routine and switching sides almost immediately.

Finally the last day came on Friday night.  I was a bit sad to see the end of our nursing but knew the freedom for us both would finally be a good thing.  Then Saturday came.  She didn’t ask at all to nurse in the morning.  Nap time was sad and she cried for a bit.  I softly explained that I loved her and we weren’t nursing any more and that she is my big girl and can go to sleep on her own now.  She didn’t buy it  and it wasn’t long before Daddy had to swoop in to the rescue when she woke up to try and get her back asleep.  Success. That time.  Then night time came and she cried and cried but finally made it to sleep.  Honestly, I realized that I hadn’t prepared myself at all for stopping.  I felt a mild sense of heartbrokenness.  Where did this come from???  I thought I was totally ready.  Totally wanted to stop nursing her.  What?  My husband assured me that we would get thru it.  Remembering how pregnant I am, which is like 100%, I just thought it could be hormones.

I successfully distracted her with breakfast the next morning, but ooooh boy.  Naptime.  Naptime came and I was all prepared, albeit exhausted from a cruddy night’s sleep.  Tick tock tick tock.  Husband was at work this time, pre-schooler was asleep and little Miss just wasn’t buying it any longer.  She was tired, so I let her cry for a bit, soothing her with backrub and assuring her that Mommy was there and loved her.  Not buying it still.  Sigh.  I had to leave the room where the real wailing and gnashing began.  Boogies and alligator tears.  After about 15 minutes I realized she just needed Mommy time.  That’s what she wanted and can tell me in plain English.  So I figured even tho{I felt like or worried that} my husband may be disappointed in my giving in and all those people who can wean their kids would be disappointed, maybe I still needed to nurse her too.  Bigger sigh.- My husband was and is supportive.  He wants me to be happy and for our family to be happy.

Yesterday nursing her was a relief.  She fell asleep almost immediately and I let her know that it’s okay, that if she needs to continue to have “nurse nurse” time we can do that.  She breathed a huge sigh of relief, nursed for about 15 seconds if that long and was out like a light.

I’ll breastfeed her until she’s done, which may or may not be by the time baby #3rd comes along.  For now it’s fine and I have been blessed to give this time to our children.  Exhausting and trying as it may be, still God has blessed our family with full time Mommy.

guadelupe1

Nuestra Senora de Leche

Nuestra Senora de Leche

And I would be remiss to mention that a whole lot of prayer went into this entire process.  Our Lady of Guadalupe and Nuestra Senora de Leche have been my guide, especially when the rough got tough and I just wanted to scream my head off.  She has been a true inspiration for how this process has gone and will go.  These images have helped and inspired me in all the moments.  She has been there for me and I am eternally grateful.

These two images I think are just awesome.  I’m not doing any art history here, they just mean a lot to me in that Jesus isn’t tiny 7 pound 6 ounce babe.  He is a toddler and beyond! And thx to St. Peter’s List for the images!

Baby Jesus is straight up Standing, so this makes me feel pretty good.

Baby Jesus is straight up Standing in this sculpture, so this makes me feel pretty good.

Virgin nursing preschooler

And, seriously, Jesus could be like 5 or older in this depiction. So, go nursing moms of older kids!

It’s very hard for me to listen and heed, but trying to be the best mom to our kids is part of the goal of my vocation as wife and mother.  I am{striving to be} the heart of our family.  So, I look to the best example of motherly heart I know.

Nuestra Senora, pray for us!

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