I have to just come out with it and say I am not a devotional type of person.
I know this has everything to do with my previous Buddhist and non-Christian life where random “devotionals” were pretty much all I had.
In the Godless world that I was in, I would hop from New Age to Mystic sections of book stores All the time. I purchased countless of these things in hopes that they would brighten my day, enlighten, bring me to some new level of happiness. And no. They just didn’t. I was so busy being angry at God for all that had happened in my life and other’s lives I never thought to just ask Him for help. Or, sometimes I did.
I would have the rare moment of deep introspection and actually get the courage to walk into the Denver Cathedral. It was really my true spiritual home. The place where I would go- not during a mass of course- when I was in need the most; in the most pain; in the most trouble; in need of forgiveness. I had no idea the depth of love before me, but probably the inkling is what would inspire me to go and light a candle and sit in the calming pews as long as I needed. Even if I felt like a bit of an interloper, I would always feel at home in this cathedral. This image is one of the gorgeous and prayer-inspiring stained glass windows.
I never looked beyond the cathedral doors closing behind me as I left. I never thought, “Maybe I should read about Catholicism.” or sought anyone out who knew anything about being Catholic or even about Jesus for that matter. It was like my quiet inner secret that I kept even from my conscious self.
So, I guess I connect devotionals with the idea of Godlessness, or even Protestantism, where I’m free to pick and choose my own idea of the Gospel or Jesus or God or the Catholic faith. I know this isn’t the case with the amazing, orthodox and devoted Catholic authors who I would like to read otherwise. I even have one or two already. I just can’t seem to want to stay up on it. Would it help my daily prayer life? Quite possibly.
So, I’m inviting thoughts and your own experiences and input. I would love to hear from you one way or the other about your thoughts on devotionals.