This isn’t just a metaphor post on the new year. Mostly it’s about praying on how to grow our family.
1. Letting the cross heal me. Being in a hard place in marriage makes all things hard for us, my spouse and I. But marriage is a Sacrament, you know? For us Catholics it is. It is my vocation andplace to grow closer to our Savior. It took lots of prayer, talking to my husband, anger, forgiveness and help from lots of my fellow Catholic Mom circle of friends to convince my ego to Try and step aside and let love for my husband and our family that we have take it’s place. Woof. Yes, still a work in progress, cuz I like me some me sometimes. 😦 to a completely annoying level I micromanage everyone in my path. Husband is no exception. Something I long and pray to change this instant and from here forward. Getting him to heaven is my main job, not whether or not he complies to my every whim. And whims I have. Ego, you can kiss your annoying self goodbye.
2. Trying to open myself to the idea of another child. I’ve been thinking for a long time, my whole life, that I would like to adopt. Recently becoming a Prayer Warrior for a beautiful boy at Reece’s Rainbow really brought that closer to home. We can finally pray together for God’s hand in our family, letting Him willingly into our decision making for pregnancy and or adoption. This is scary for me. I didn’t feel strong enough recently to really offer it up. But it turns out that in my weakness I can give to Jesus that which I cannot take.
2.5 (nobody said there were rules, did they?) Stop misusing NFP. I love and believe deeply in the benefits of natural family planning. Practicing it changed my life forever. BUT, I think in learning how to naturally achieve or avoid pregnancy I started replacing avoid “pregnancy” with avoid love making and avoid husband, full stop. But, Fear- be banished. I need not fear God’s plan. I mean, there are actual Bible stories about this. So, what’s my problem?, I am married to one awesome and Hot man, so, I’m feeling grateful for this realization. End be to hard place in marriage and hello to who, what and hows that God gives us to grow and renew our marital vows. Plus, who wouldn’t want more of these people around:
3. My WOTY: Both Dwija and Kathryn have inspired me to pray on a Word for the Year. It turns out, my word this year is Give. Give, Victoria, Give. Holy Moly. Am I prepared? Well, who cares. I’m going to ask the Lord for help, cuz that’s the word He gave me. I no longer am afraid of being 42, finances, location, doctors, vbacs or even the loss of miscarriage that we’ve suffered before. I’m not even worried that I’m going to bother someone in an empty church if I need to sing praises instead of quietly pray. I’m even going to look into being part of the choir. What!
4. Make. I am a maker. So, I’m gonna start making’ the stuff I have plans for.
5. Budgetting! We are finally and so so happily on a budget. A Dave Ramsey cash envelope type budget. It’s working. We’re not saving as of today, but we’re On Budget! Major sigh of relief.
6. Slowly learning something some great saints knew long ago: (I catch on eventually)
It is also a very clear sign of love to try to spare others household work by taking it upon oneself and also to rejoice and give great praise to the Lord if you see any increase in their virtues. -St. Teresa of Avila, Way of Perfection
7. Let my husband be himself and Love him more each day for it. So- I already know I’m gonna need some help here, I’m just not the best at being unconditional. All y’all Holy Men and Women; that’s yer cue. Aaaaand, deep breath, be and love me.
Have a blessed weekend, thanks for stopping by and thanks for being a gracious host Jen!